We have already discussed Affirmations. This is the third post in the series “Happy Mind, Happy Life”. We discussed why it is necessary to have daily affirmations. Now, for affirmations, we need to have a positive mind. We should be able to see the beauty around us. Our surroundings should make us happy. Can we bring positivity to our life with negative thinking? Can we make a difference in our current state and take it to a desirable pleasant state with negative thoughts? To put it the other way around, we cannot do anything positive, or growth does not occur with negative thoughts/feelings. Having a positive or a growth mindset is very important for our development.

Talking about Mindset and not mentioning about Steve Job, will leave this post incomplete. Steve Jobs wouldn’t have become an inspiration to many minds if he didn’t have the courage and positive mindset to do something significant/worthy. He dropped out from Reeds College after first semester but before leaving, he took Calligraphy class that later inspired him to include a wide range of fonts (vs. one standard text) on the first Macs.

 In his interview, he shared a simple and brilliant insight, which has since been back up by psychology research. Jobs said,

“When you grow up, you tend to get told that the world is the way it is and your life is just to live your life inside the world, try not to bash into the walls too much, try to have a nice family life, have fun, save a little money. That’s a very limited life. Life can be much broader once you discover one simple fact, and that is that everything around you that you call life was made up by people that were no smarter than you. And you can change it, you can influence it, you can build your own things that other people can use….. Once you learn that, you’ll never be the same again.”

Now you can listen to this episode.

If you see any successful people and try to understand the main reason behind their success, then you will know that it is not just their smartness or expertise. But it is their positive mindset of believing in their efforts and actions. When there is innovation or experiment, there will be a failure. Not just one but many failures. But can any innovation be complete without trial and error? Can we get results in one go? In science experiments, failure or inaccurate results are also a part of the whole experiment. They tell us where we went wrong.

The same applies to our life events. When we know that every time things may not go our desired manner, why should we treat them as failures? And with repeated failures, our mindset gets crowded with negative thoughts, self-judgments, negative self-analysis. 

Why do we get disheartened by small setbacks? Why failures that come along the way make us doubt our capabilities? Can’t we train our minds to see it as an opportunity to try harder and make ourselves even better and be expert in it? 

For someone who is consistently trying to make things right, but it is not happening, having a positive mindset seems close to impossible. “It is tough for me to think positive all the time.” – this cannot be the answer or say excuse for not changing our mindset.

No-one is born with a negative mindset. Still, many factors such as life experiences, any particular incident, or people we meet change our perspective. Later, we end up in a mindset that restricts us from thinking positively. This shift from positive to negative mindset happens so quietly that we don’t see it coming. It comes unknowingly into our lives, and before we know, it becomes a permanent member.  

Confusing the word Simple with easy: 

These two terms look very similar, and we often use them as synonyms. But when talking about the changes we want to bring in our lives, we cannot use them as synonyms. If that would have been the case, why would people have struggled to change their outlook or way of living? We often do not put our 100% effort because the task is simple. When something simple, we do not have the proper resources – whether it’s time, effort, or mental energy. When we try to do something that seems simple and fail because we didn’t plan well, we feel more discouraged than ever. The truth is that change is hard, and even making small modifications to our behavior is not easy.

Just thinking and not implementing:

Understanding that change is needed but not taking action to make it happen. When we hear motivational talks, we feel uplifted, and the course of action they suggest sounds powerful and doable. We understand the need for that change, but we can experience those words’ beauty and power when we understand them by implementing them.

Self-blame game: 

Knowing your loopholes is good but playing a self-blame game is not at all a good practice. Self-blame, self-criticism is the biggest obstacle in self-development. We make decisions about what we feel correct at that particular moment. Sometimes, even if we know that our choices are not right, our mind frame does not allow us to see it. Looking back, we blame ourselves for making bad choices. Now when we have more options and a better mind frame, we can make the right decision. Can we move forward towards a better tomorrow if we keep looking back and criticizing ourselves?

Why a positive mindset or growth mindset is necessary?

If we have a “growth mindset,” we enjoy challenges, despite the risk, usually, because we value learning and growth more than others thinking we know what we are doing. On the other hand, If we have a “fixed mindset,” we may shy away from challenges because we do not want to feel embarrassed. And that where self-blame comes into the picture. But the fear of failure or embarrassment of self-blame can lead us to restricted growth or no growth. Having a growth or positive mindset contributes to the overall development and fuller personality.

The good news is that it’s possible to develop a growth mindset that will help you persist and thrive through change. Below I have listed a handful of strategies to get started on your growth-mindset journey:

1. Accept imperfections in self and others as it is that element that makes us individuals. We all have flaws, weakness, so there is nothing to feel ashamed about it.

2. Face challenges bravely: Consider failures, challenges as an opportunity. Each challenge or opportunity invites us into a new experience that is a sort of adventure. 

3. Please pay attention to your words: that we say to others and that we tell ourselves. If your comments are low or dark, the results may also be. Try to replace negative thoughts or words with more positive ones or judgment with acceptance, hate with compassion.

4. Listen to your heart: Don’t seek approval from others all the time. Be your guiding light. Trust your instinct. 

5. Be yourself: Don’t copy others. You are special, unique and have all the capabilities to be our best version. 

6. Learn from others’ mistakes: If we can learn from others’ mistakes, we will not repeat those mistakes. 

7. Value and enjoy the process and don’t focus on the end goal.

8. Don’t shy away from making mistakes in front of others: We often want to give our best in front of others as we think that making mistakes will make us look bad. But it’s okay. When we try something new, then mistakes will happen, and it is entirely OK. 

9. Be realistic towards your expectations: If we don’t have real goals or, let’s call it the desired outcome, then small failures become a big deal because the task seems impossible. We also speed up, but the growth mindset says that enjoying the process is more important than focusing on the end goal. No matters how long we take to understand something new, seeing yourself grow along the process is very important. 

Mindset plays a crucial role in our personality, how we face life situations, and how we handle stressful situations. The growth mindset encourages us to face challenges and not be scared of uncertainty, taking responsibility for our actions and words. By doing this, we can make our brains work for us, and in the end, we can achieve what we want.  

If you would like to check out the other two posts in this series:

Affirmation: https://mothersgurukul.com/affirmations-see-life-light-affirmations/

Podcast: https://anchor.fm/mothers-gurukul-podcast/episodes/Affirmations-eld63h

Self-worth: https://mothersgurukul.com/self-worth-own-kind-beautiful/

Podcast: https://anchor.fm/mothers-gurukul-podcast/episodes/Self-Worth-em30lk