Yesterday, I went to my friend’s place and was talking to her kid. I asked him about his recent project. He said, “it went well. But I didn’t make it to the shortlisted list.” I asked him if he enjoyed working on his selected topic and presenting it to his class. The good part was he answered Yes and then left to play. This mini conversation to a 3^rdgrader made me think why kids these days think too much about winning? Why getting shortlisted is so important for them? My friend is not among those parents who get hard on themselves or their kids for not winning some competition. But today, kids face so much of peer pressure that when they take part in any kind of competition, for them winning has become more important than participation.

 

A little disappointment can actually benefit your child — as long as you teach them how to bounce back from it and cope with failure. As a parent, we can help them in coping up with such situations.

 

• Winning is important but should not be the only goal: Participation, not quitting in the middle, and enjoying the whole process is equally important. These days, parents are very involved in their kid’s projects, studies. There is nothing wrong in it but this involvement raises the expectation bar from our kids. If kids sense this then they will not enjoy it. It will be more of a burden on them.

 

• Fear of failure: Many kids don’t attempt due to the fear of failure. We have to tell them that failure is a part of life. They should not be treated as setbacks. Instead, failure should be seen as a learning experience. They help us in polishing our existing skills.

 

• Give your best: No matters how big or small the competition/task is, always give your 100%. Never leave any stone unturned. Give your sincere efforts. And it’s okay if you don’t win. At least you will not have the guilt of not trying hard.

 

• Appreciate others: This is very important. Always appreciate other’s efforts. Usually, kids feel sad if they don’t win. Such times, ask them about those kids whose projects were shortlisted. Ask them what do they think was better in those projects. Sometimes, it’s the presentation style, sometimes it’s the topic or sometimes it is everything combined. Asking them this will help them in learning to respect other’s efforts even if they don’t win. It teaches them to learn from others. Seeing their classmates win and appreciating it whole-heartedly is not easy. Even grown-ups struggle to master this skill so think if your child can learn this at an early age then imagine how wonderful will that be?

 

• Try to improve yourself: When they learn to appreciate others, they will most likely to improve themselves. Now seeing others win will not be a negative feeling for them but an opportunity to learn something good from others.

 

We all want our kids to excel in whatever they do. Unknowingly we set high expectation bar and send a message to them that winning is always essential. Sometimes parents are more discouraged than kids. Is it right? This make kids to see everything as winning and losing and not enjoying it. Do you agree?

 

If you want to see how just 3 questions can turn losing into learning then check this article. I am sure you will like it.

Happy Parenting!!