Don’t Compare Your Child with Others

Are two butterflies alike? Then how can be children? Yes, here I am calling children as butterflies. Aren’t they? Just like every butterfly is different having different colors & shades, so as children. Each one is special and unique. Every child is talented and every child is gifted with so many strengths that God has given to that particular child only. God has written things in his notebook for every one of us. Then why to compare these precious gems when “He” himself has made every child special? Don’t Compare Your Child with Others. Help them in identifying their own strengths and work towards that direction.


Photo Credit: RUTH Souce:
Photo Credit: RUTH


Few days ago, I was talking to other mom whose son will be entering KG this year. She was so much worried about whatever her child knows, is it enough for a going-to-be-kindergartener? The reason for her anxiety was something that made me think to compile my thoughts and write on this topic. She narrated an incident when they were at a party and other kids who were just 1-2 years older to her child were talking on so many different topics. After coming back from that party she was wondering if her son’s knowledge or curiosity on various topics enough? For a second it made her think that “I hope, my child is not lacking behind.” How will I get to know whatever he knows is enough for a Kindergartner?; What is DRA? How will I know his DRA level?; How to work with him with his reading?; How will I know what’s going on in the school?” I felt that there are too many “How” & “What” in her thinking process.

My daughter will be in second grade now so in a way I am senior to her 🙂 I told her what I felt right and followed so far. I feel that if parent is tensed, worried or feeling pressurized, then children feel that pressure. Every child learns at his/her pace. There are early developers, slow bloomers and steady-as-you-go kids in every group, so comparing your child’s results or performance can be completely unrealistic. Guide them, don’t pressurize them or over burden them with tons of classes just because some other child is going to that many classes/activities. Work towards your child’s improvement and effort and use your child’s results as the benchmark for his or her progress and development.


Photo Credit: Claudio Gennari
Photo Credit: Claudio Gennari


  • Know your child.
  • They are the true explorer.
  • Recognize their talents, interest, strengths.
  • Never stop them from asking questions.
  • Never use the words – you don’t know anything. ; Look at your friend; learn something from your friend. ; You put me down by doing this.
  • Encourage them.
  • Celebrate their achievements and milestones. 


Knowing your child’s potential, you should pick your words. Comparison always backfires. Every child is unique; they are not and will never be someone else. Don’t raise your expectation bar so high that it becomes a pressure to your kiddo. Depending on their interest, desire, capabilities, let them follow what THEY WANT and not what YOU WANT from them. Guiding is a different thing than writing their path on your terms.


Photo Credit: Stephan Hochhans Source:
Photo Credit: Stephan Hochhans


I am concluding this post ion a positive parenting note- We all have hopes and dreams for our kids, but they may not be in line with their interests and talents.  We should try to keep our expectations for success in line with their abilities and interests. Our self-esteem as a parent should not be explicitly linked to our children’s behavior or developmental levels.




About Alpana

I am Alpana Deo. You can call me a passionate writer who enjoys writing in any form.I feel motherhood gave me chances to explore and think about many such areas that I never paid attention. Writing to me is a feeling of satisfaction, relaxation after a tiring day and an accomplishment of doing something meaningful.