“If it is desirable that our children be kind, responsible, pleasant and honest, then those qualities must be taught – not hoped for.” – James Dobson

You all would agree with the fact that Parenting is not something that one can learn by reading a book or surfing on the Internet. It is much more than that; it is an ongoing journey. And during this journey we experience many ups & downs. When our kid does something awesome, our heart fills with joy, pride and vice-verse.  Starting from day-today conversation; getting good grades at school, up to deciding about their career path. Examples are endless. For most of us, all this boils down to one point ‘Discipline’, ‘Habits’, ‘Kid’s foundation’. Have you ever thought that there are many more things that are equally important apart from just being a disciplined, well-behaved child?

“It is the little things you do in and day out that count. That’s the way, you teach your child” – by Amanda Pays. Let’s talk about it.

• Teach them to be a good human being: First of all, it is very important for us to tell our kids to be a good person. For one who is beautiful inside is beautiful outside. For being a good person, it doesn’t have a definition or a checklist that child has to follow. Here, we are talking about very general points that can be practiced as a routine. Like using good words. I often tell my daughter that everyone is different, so as their style. We can’t change their behavior in one go but we can ignore that we don’t like. And try not to imitate it.

• Our Approach towards others: How we talk to others (e.g relatives, spouse, friends), how we treat them, our attitude, and our perspective has lot more to do with our child’s personality development. Till a certain age, they see the world through our (parent’s) eyes. We don’t realize but they mimic our actions. So isn’t that our duty to set a good example?

• Knowing their friend circle: Once our child starts going to school, we all go through that phase where we deal with some uninvited traits that our child brings home. And we just wonder that our very obedient, disciplined kid has suddenly started to behave little differently. How? Obviously, they get influenced from their friends just the way we do. The difference is we know where to draw the line. Knowing their friends, talking to the parents is the key.

• Our perspective towards our child: What do you see when you look at your child? The way we see them, we deal with them accordingly. We would wonder-really? For example, remember when your child was in the TWOs phase. Which line you used to hear quite often for any odd behavior? – These are the terrible TWOs. Right? Sometimes it might have happened that we were not able to understand what our child is trying to tell and then h(she) starts getting upset. And we name it terrible TWOs. I will give you a very recent example. My daughter was doing her Dance practice and she wasn’t getting a particular step perfectly.  And that was making her upset. We talked for a while, I explained her where she is going wrong and also that I can see that she is trying it hard. Then when she started again with a fresh mind, she got it quite close to what she wanted and later perfect. She was happy and satisfied.

• Technology and Media: It is very important to know what our child is watching on TV. Now a days, there is a wide range of cartoons, kids serials. And they do impact little but curious minds in different ways. I interviewed a Kindergarten teacher , and she said that this generation kids are very smart. They know so much about technology at an early age.Technology is not awful. It is just that with too much technology, other things get lost.

My dear parents,

Kids are like pots, we are the potter and the wheel is the parenting journey. We build them – we shape them. Our first duty should be to build self-esteem, self-respect, and try to connect to them. Do the best you can.