At the junction of life, when surrounded by people, they still feel lonely. They have all the amenities, but they don’t feel like enjoying them. They can do their own work but still feel that they are dependent on others. Yes, we are talking about our elderly people. Neither they nor those who come in their contact realize that when their mental peace change into mental discomfort. Here, no one is to blame. The reason is quite simple. We never think that it can happen to this age group.

Unfortunately, too often, mental health problems are undiagnosed and untreated, and many older people struggle without proper help or any help at all.

When discussing mental wellness, we often focus on teenagers, homemakers, youth, and kids. Hardly we turn our focus towards elderly people. They have a powerful and clear vision since they have a bag full of experience from various challenges they have faced and conquered. And day-to-day things will not bother them. Also, life after retirement is so calm and tension-free. By then, they have fulfilled all their responsibilities, so why would they struggle to have good mental health? We often address them as a school having numerous real-life experiences. And that’s where we go wrong. Who said they cannot feel the tension and anxiety just because they don’t have any responsibility? Or can they not feel vulnerable in certain situations because they have a lot of experience? Or they don’t feel the need for social interaction?

I was in India this summer and met elderly people in my family, friends, and relatives. Luckily, I am surrounded by enthusiastic people, even in their 70s and 80s. They have kept themselves busy in some way or other. But there are occasions when they feel low. They feel sad about their low energy level. And this makes them think that they are dependent. I chatted with some of them one-on-one and tried to change their perspective. But we all know it is not easy to convince them about something at that age? Anyways, we will also be in their shoes sooner or later. So, let’s not complain about that. Instead, why not think about some ways we can help them with their thought process? But before that, let us understand the reason behind their thinking.

Pre-defined norms

Life after retirement should be free from tensions. But that doesn’t mean that they are old. Or now they should do everything in moderation. Sometimes, the pre-set norms or beliefs or let’s call it old conditioning come their way if they want to do something different. Post-retirement time should be seen as when they can fulfill their hobbies without restriction.

Limited social interaction

Earlier they used to interact with their peers. Now, they have to look for like-minded people. Due to the pre-set notion or sometimes due to some genuine reasons, finding that buddy becomes a problem.

Health reasons/Low energy level

If someone has any health issues or surgery, recovery can be challenging. It can result in a feeling of dependency. In the last 6 months, I have seen people in my close relationships undergo surgeries. During my India trip, I met them in person. While talking to them, I realized they find staying positive during their recovery time challenging. They feel that they are dependent on others. Their mobility has reduced. This thought can take a toll on their mental well-being if gone for a long duration.

Changes in the lifestyle

Our elders have lived a different kind of life. Life was simple and less chaotic. It is indeed commendable how they have adjusted to the changing lifestyle. But somewhere, they are still trying to adjust. And in some cases, they even feel dependent on their expenses. And this is not a great feeling to them.

Loneliness elderly people experience

Let’s be practical. It’s hard, after spending many memorable moments with their life partner when one is left behind. It’s truly is.

Diagnosis is essential, but it is crucial to understand what we can do at our level.

Related article: 9 enjoyable activities for seniors with limited mobility

Let’s start with something very simple yet sometimes difficult to implement.

Elderly people need a patient ear

Just hear them out. Their talks may sound boring, sometimes a bit long, and we may not feel any connection with the stories. But still, listen to them.

Answer their silliest question without getting frustrated

They know that there is a lot of backlog, and they are trying to be on the same page with us, so make this process easy by answering their basic questions. For example, my Zoom call is giving me problems from Safari. Or How can I record an audio using WhatsApp? or how can I mute myself when on a Google Meet? How can I place an order through Amazon? This sounds so simple. Right? But for them, they are not.

Remind them of their interest areas and hobbies

They might have forgotten about it. But we have to remind them about it. They may have lost the zeal. But once they get back to what they like to do, they will not feel lonely. If they like music, encourage them to get back to it.

Help elderly people in finding their friend circle

We have technology at our fingertips. Let’s use it to help our elders find a friend circle where they can meet their age people. We can also connect them with people of their age group. Then, they can take it forward from there. Nothing can be more relaxing than chatting with like-minded people.

These points may seem simple. But do elders demand anything fancy to live a happy and stress-free life? Their needs are minimal. Let’s try to provide them what they deserve.