If I ask you how you are feeling, Or if you are reading this post in the afternoon, how did you feel in the morning? Do you feel the same way throughout the day? I am sure the answer will be no. And that’s true. We do not feel the same emotion or feeling the entire day. Our days are filled with multiple incidents that contribute to how we feel from within. Due to the complex nature of our emotions, we need to understand our inner space. We need to develop emotional literacy.
For example, it’s our birthday, and we have been in high spirits since morning. We are heading for lunch with our friends and face lousy traffic. For some time, we maintain your calm, but when the cars are moving at an ant speed and our eyes are glued to the watch, slowly, our morning happiness starts to convert into frustration. Finally, when we each the venue, we are partially drained out, and for the first 30 minutes, we are talking about the bad traffic. Our friends may say, it’s okay! Don’t get upset. Our typical answer is, No, I am not upset, but why this has to happen on my birthday?
Such a reaction is not uncommon. In situations like this, most of us will react in this manner. We say our circumstances are responsible for our behavior. But it is not true? How can we blame our circumstances if we are the driver of our emotions? But the good news is we control our emotions so they do not go out of control. And that is what we call emotional literacy.
Emotional literacy is nothing but understanding our emotions and acknowledging them. It is ability to read (identify), label, understand and act upon the feelings (emotions) of oneself. People around us often sense and feel that we are mad, scared, upset, or anxious but we don’t realize it. Or even if we recognize it, we don’t admit it. Only if we know our feelings can we control them, as the phrase says. When you can name it, then you can tame it.
Do you know on total, we have 3,000 emotions. And out of these 3000, we use only 8-10 emotions daily. These are Joy, Trust, Fear, Surprise, Sadness, Disgust, Anger, and Anticipation. Let’s take Joy and understand how it progresses. It starts with serenity. Think of a holy place- a temple, church, meditation place, or any place that gives you calmness. When we visit this place, we experience serenity. Because of serenity, we find Joy when we visit this place. When it continues for a long time, we reach a stage called Ecstacy.
The Opposite of Joy is Sadness. Sadness starts from Pensiveness, meaning we think deeply about something, often sad. It progresses to sadness and, when unattended, reaches its final stage: Grief. Its presence will forever be a part of you. There is no harm in cultivating more Joy in our lives but cultivating or holding on to sadness is unhealthy for our mind, body, and soul.
What can we do to stop the progression of these negative feelings?
Understand the power of pause
We are so quick to react to any situation that we don’t even pay attention to its intensity. If we pause before responding, we can immediately break the negative pattern. The pause gives us the needed time to think. It provides clarity to our minds. When we pause, we put a temporal and mental space between stimulus and action. From a neurological perspective, this space enables a range of possibilities to be considered.
Action: We can just “be” with the experience and reflect on it momentarily before engaging the “do” circuitry of action.
Name it and tame it
Only we can respond to our emotions when we can understand them. When we are joyful, we feel and address it; that’s why we celebrate the moment. Similarly, when we are sad, mad, angry, or frustrated, we should address them. Then, take the pause we discussed in the previous point. Consider the range of possibilities and then keep them from becoming big.
Final thoughts!
Our brain is like a room. Too many light bulbs mean our emotions; in this room, there will be excess light, which will affect our vision. But if we light one light bulb at a time, the lighting will be perfect, and we can see things clearly.
