We often say, “don’t be aggressive,” “be polite, considerate, courteous, kind, agreeable.” Parents of teenage kids often see this trait in their children and say, “calm down. Why are you getting so aggressive?” They pick verbal, physical, and emotional fights. They are constantly trying to overpower other people in one way or another, as if being aggressive is the only way they know how to be, as if being aggressive gives them a sense of being alive, of feeling real.
On the other hand, some people cannot show aggression. Others say them whatever they want to, and they listen. Well, both extremes are not good and healthy. So, why are we talking about it when we see it as one of the negative emotions? Aggression can be a positive trait when it comes to achieving our goals. Let’s talk about that today.
Since childhood, we have been in the habit of being dependent on something. We look for external options to keep ourselves happy and busy. We need a TV or the internet to entertain us when we are bored. But in this process, we keep jumping from one option to another. We are not focused on one thing. As soon as it ends, our mind starts looking for other options. It is very common among kids. When they are young, they still know how to entertain themselves with toys, but as they grow old, they don’t know what to do when their phone is not with them. Let’s unfold how we can turn their aggression towards something positive which can help their life.
You would agree that zeal and inner strength matter a lot when we talk about what we want to achieve in future. When we decide to put our heart and soul into our goal, we will surely get it. But what about those unavoidable external pressure and sometimes inner voice that makes this process a little bit challenging? This is when positive aggression plays a big role.
So, what is positive aggression. Can one positive and one negative word go together? Yes, why not. Positive aggression is the act of being assertive and setting boundaries in life. It can be associated with self-care, self-love, self-respect, and empowerment. These are very powerful words.
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Positive aggression is crucial because it can help people understand that when a person says “no” or “I want”, it does not mean selfishness or being offensive. Instead it is all about standing up for themselves. Negative aggression is unfriendly and unhelpful. On the contrary, positive aggression is friendly and helpful. When we want to achieve our goals, we have to say no to many unwanted distractions or clarify our needs, and what matters to us. Many wish to convey their desires to others, but they don’t know how.
So, the first step is to express ourselves clearly. It includes our opinion, views, and thought patterns. Sticking to our words is very important when someone wants to practice positive aggression. Most of the time, people tend to lose interest or get distracted. Positive aggression also calls for completing the tasks that are assigned to us.
I have 4 simple ways to incorporate positive aggression into our everyday life:
–Don’t doubt your capabilities. We all have to start somewhere. We all make mistakes and learn from them. As my son repeats his teacher’s words, mistakes make us grow. So, be confident.
-Say no when needed. By saying no, you will be helping yourself. You will not be selfish. And if you do, then be it.
-Don’t wait for things to change. Be proactive. Your future depends on the choices that you make today.
-Sometimes, you have to take risks to learn something new. There is one quote by Vincent van Gogh “if you hear a voice within you saying “you are not a painter”, then, by all means, paint, boy, and that voice will be silenced.
For achieving our goals, also requires the right attitude and state of mind. We cannot let our insecurities or doubts overpower our inner strength. Understanding the importance of positive aggression will make this path smooth and full of positive energies.
Agree with you. Ive always found that people think that being assertive and aggressive and being strong are somehow ‘bad’ things…. instead these can actually help once establish boundaries and function comfortably.
Exactly!!
The fact is that being aggressive is not bad a typical old fashioned mindset people made it look bad. I do become aggressive many a times no just for saying NO or I Want, but even to say YOU ARE IRRITATING ME when the person next to me badly and intentionally irritates me. I am in favore of being aggressive for a good cause
Good to know you can relate to the post.
Positive agression can be used for fulfilling goals, this approach has added new perspective in me. Yes, by staying confident one can assert few things in life.
I am glad you learned something new from this post.
Food for thought…. usually we talk about aggression in a negative way… but positive aggression is important because it can help people understand that it’s not about being offensive or hostile, but standing up for oneself to say “no” or “I want”. Thanks for the nudge.
🙂
This is interesting to know, aggression is often considered a negative word. never knew aggression can be used to do something positive. I feel it’s an emotion and like every emotion, it can be channelized too for finishing tasks on time or with perfection. great post
True. Aggression is mostly seen as a negative emotion.
Wonderful post..it’s necessary to have a positive aggression in life .it’s very important for him/herself but also for the surroundings.
Yes.