For Q, I was facing a Question mark about what to write. Our 16 alphabets are down. So far, I have written my experiences in the west. That was my side. This series will remain incomplete if I do not address your questions. For today’s post, I thought of asking a couple of my blogger friends for whichever question(s) they have about the west. I want to thank our book lover Shilpa who blogs at A Rose is A Rose is A Rose!, Rakhi who blogs at lifethroughmyeyes, Zainab from SlimExpectations, panchtatwa girl Pragun, and Yogita Rane from www.vrag.in

 

 

Question 1: Is it hard to maintain our culture in the USA? How you manage kids to follow the Indian values when so many things to lure them?

I will not call it hard, but it is challenging. Parents have to go one extra mile if they want to maintain their culture at home. It will not happen on its own. If they keep trying, pay attention to those small details, and do whatever they can do to bring India into their houses, then kids follow it. Kids like it, they can sense it. Today, we are fortunate to watch the old TV serials. It is a great way to connect with our days back home. Also, we have Sunday schools where kids get to experience the Indian culture, various rituals. In our case, its Chinmay Mission. It starts from Pre-K and goes till the 12th standard. After 12th, kids graduate from Chinmay Mission. Kids do not just learn about the cultural aspect but also the spiritual side as well. I have seen a significant change in their personality. Their understanding expands, their way of looking at things changes. They know how to think in a balanced way.

 

Question 2: Is it easy to manage our traditions and give perfect Indian upbringing on the foreign ground?

It is not impossible. I agree; many factors play a role in their upbringing. But not taking things for granted, not finding excuses, not feeling bored or tired in following the customs helps in giving an education which will have India as an integral part. If parents try to impose things on their kids because they think it is right, then it always backfires. The same applies here. Parents have to understand their kid’s position too. Don’t set your expectation bar way too high, and yes. Don’t compare your kids with the kids back home. May be your niece or nephew. It’s a contrast to everything. Culture, language, environment, lifestyle, surroundings. I have seen parents saying – “we are not sure if our kids will understand Indian culture and if they will pass it on to the next generation or not.” Now tell me, how will kids understand it if parents are falling short in putting their 100%?

 

Question 3: How kids manage back in India on vacation? Do people judge them in terms of accent and behavior?

Same as adults, kid’s adaptability is crucial. Kids, when visiting India on vacation, factors that contribute to their stay are language & change in their surroundings. When they are young, there is limited speaking. But as they grow old, if they are not able to interact with others, then it creates an inferiority complex in them. These days, English is becoming a common language in India as well, so there is not much of a challenge, but their accent seems different. I have not seen anyone judging them for their accent. As far as behavior is concerned, if the child is comfortably holding a conversation, then they can handle many things on their own. Talking about my kids, then they have a blast when they are in India. They hardly come to me for anything. One of the main reasons is their comfort with the language.

 

Question 4: What is the biggest misconception Indians have about life in the USA?

Let me tell you what I have been asked. One routine life is not challenging as we have a strong technology base, and most of the things are automatic. And the second is getting a Green Card is straight forward.

 

Question 5: What is a major challenge that you encountered as an Indian in the USA?

Nothing as such. But there is one thing. I will not call it a challenge but something that I wished to be different. And that is the Visa rules. I came here on the H4 visa (the dependent visa on H1-B-which is a company-sponsored visa). H4 visa holders are not allowed to work. It put many aspirations on hold as the studies done in India when converted into USA standards; it falls under the Bachelor category except you hold four years of Bachelor’s degree which means you have to get a Master degree and go on a student visa and then apply as a fresh applicant. This entire process becomes too cumbersome.

 

Question 6: How is it without parents so far?

I feel, today, no matter whether you are living in India (unless you live in the same city or near-by) or abroad, we do not meet our parents very often. Of-course occasional meet-ups during festivals or short school breaks give us the satisfaction of meeting them, which we miss out on. But when we come to India, our stay is for good 2-3 months. Or when parents come here, they come for the same length. We are with them 24×7. Talking about the concerning part, then I will not deny, we do get concerned for our parents back home. It is hard. We cannot substitute our in-person presence with phone calls. But, there are a few things that are not in our hands. We can pray to God for keeping them safe and healthy.

 

Question 7: How do you manage with no help?

It may seem challenging in the beginning, but with time everyone gets used to it. We figure out shortcuts, time-saving methods. It is not that hard how it sounds. It makes us a better planner.

 

Question 8: Teaching kids your national language

It is a personal choice of every parent. Not every parent feels the need to teach their kids the national language. They see it in a way that why do stress out kids. I have a couple of friends who want their kids to talk in the national language, but in spite of their efforts, they couldn’t maintain it. Then there are a few who have successfully kept the practice going. They have seen the positive of it.

 

Question 9: Do kids have a separate bedroom?

🙂 Well, it depends on the parent’s choice and space availability. But many families do follow this practice. It has its plus and minuses. Giving my own example then our daughter started to sleep alone in her room when she turned 4. Before that she used to share our room but we never did co-sleeping. She used to sleep on her own bed. We have been following the same practice with our son.

 

So, these were a few of the questions that my co-bloggers asked me. A big thanks to all of you for helping me in drafting the Q post.

This post is a part #BlogchatterA2Z. My theme is ” Dollar Nation – Are You Ready to Experience the West Through My Eyes?”

You can read the previous posts by clicking on each alphabets.

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