“There is no such thing as a perfect parent. So just be a real one.” by Sue Atkins
Are you a perfect parent? I am not. And I guess nobody is because perfect parent doesn’t exist. We all try to be perfect parent in our own ways and create our own definitions of a perfect parent but do we really reach that point? What’s your answer?
Yesterday, I dropped my daughter at the bus stop. That’s my morning mini catch-up time with my friends. One of my friends and I had a small talk while coming back about some incident happened in the park. And while doing that we discussed many such moments when we feel that we cannot prepare our kids for each and every future event. We are there but they have to learn it on their own. She said, “I am happy that I am not the only one thinking like this.” ..:)
I guess, this type of conversation is not very rare. Almost every parent talks about this. We all want to give our kids a secure, loving environment. And in order to do that we test our limits and sometimes their limits too. So, are we trying to become a perfect parent and making our child a perfect child? Both of us were discussing various sides of child psychology (obviously from a mom’s point of view). We cannot prepare our child for each and every situation. They have to face these things on their own. And have to figure out their own ways. Back to the topic now.
So, what is a perfect parent? Someone who is a role model for his child, who makes them feel safe, who fulfill their wishes, who listens to them patiently , who has solution for every problem, who never miss their kid’s important school events and the list goes on. Now, let’s see what kids say- In pre-school, your kiddo might have written “All About my Mom / Dad (most of the cases its Mom)”. Everyone’s definition and list is different. Something like “I love my mom because she bakes yummy cake and cookies for me”; or “because she takes care of me”; or “she packs my lunch everyday”. I like when “she comes for lunch”; “she helps me cleaning up my room”; or “she reads a bedtime story to me”.
These sentences or say desires/expectations from our child are so simple and that’s makes us a perfect parent for them. On the other hand, we unnecessarily complicate this whole definition.
A very small example is not finishing homework in time or keeping their room clean or repeating to put that ipad away twice becomes a big deal for us. We start judging ourselves whether we are a good parent?
We worry about what the child will become tomorrow, yet we forget that s(he) is someone today.
I asked my daughter to take shower after she came back from playground. After a while, I went to check if she is done but what I saw? She was playing with her Baby Brother. Now, for a second I thought of asking her why she is not in the shower? But then I stopped myself and thought that she is enjoying that very minute with her baby brother. She can take shower after 5 minutes. Later I asked her if she is done playing and now can she go in the shower? She happily went. Actually, she asked me if she can race with her brother. Lets see who gets ready first and puts on the night suit..:) How old is her baby brother? He is 5 months old..:) But what I realized is just because I controlled myself from interrupting their time, I could see how cutely, she was talking to him in baby voice..
As a parent, we need to recognize that it is normal to feel worried, confused, angry, guilty, overwhelmed and inadequate because of our child’s behavior. That is part of being a parent. Am I a good mom/dad? Did my parents have the same concerns? And how did they handle those? These kind of questions or say dilemmas are always there in our minds.
Parenting isn’t a practice. It’s a daily learning experience. So, let’s experience it and cherish all the moments that we are getting to enjoy today. Because today’s happy moments are tomorrow’s sweet memories…:)